"Dukkha…"
The pain was fading now. The pills taking effect, easing the throbbing, deep, moaning edge. No need to hug, to hold and soothe. It was manageable. She could carry on now, get up and move.
Still, she sat there. As the sadness took hold, reflecting, trying to understand. This was a day where life was a struggle. Healing knowledge, healing practice, healing words shadowed by grim, physical realities. Wherever she looked, whatever she heard, all around, suffering held reign. Her thoughts were playing that old, familiar tune. Scratched record, notes jumping but the message clear. "Dukkha", suffering. It hurt. It wasn't fair.
Tears fell. She was human after all.
But, before the quiet weeping tightened its grasp, that inner voice, the shining light, the beliefs, the faith that kept her strong, awoke. Warmth hugged her close. Soothing balm. Comfort seeped through, taking the stinging heat away. Cocooned, protected and reassured. The feelings of loving, giving strength, grew.
With gently, chiding tones it spoke:
"Why this weeping? Why this despair? You, who have experienced the highs and lows, know that this is a part of life's rich living. There are days when darkness seems to hold sway, when the light is dimmed and it's hard to find your way. But you, you already know that with the rising of the sun and dawns' brilliance colouring the world a-new, this too shall pass."
"But that doesn't answer why there is so much suffering," she responded, "why evils are repeated, why good people suffer, and why there is so much pain."
The voice, a soft caress, replied:
"You already know the futility of such questions. You've gone through that process, those endless cycles of questioning, questing and querying."
"But why?"
"Sometimes there are no real answers. Sense can be made in some form, knitted together from all those differing strands, when the failures in lessons given, of deep-held prejudice and hate, are revealed. Made clear. The sheer violence and brutality of power that breeds destroying greed. The lack of loving kindness, of connection and understanding. The bile of bitterness prevails, humanity forgotten, hidden, lost. You could easily drown in the despair of such thinking. Remember then, recall, the path your struggles curved for you. Your knowledge of how to change that energy, that lowness, to add your mite of compassion, to aid yourself and the healing of this world. You have the choice to change those disheartening words. The resonance different, humming, honey-toned, the images brighter, your pathway clear, those feelings transformed. Not pain. No-more. Now, the throbbing becomes persistent nudging, gaining your attention, to help soften, to help smooth, to help ease your way."
Compassion
The voice quietened then, but the words, the message, strengthened her. To take in that deep, cleansing breath, exhale, let go, and start the day again. Now refreshed. Blessings recounted. Gratitude felt and thanks given, for all the life that had been lived, and the life that was yet to come.
She got up then and made her way to the quiet place she had chosen to reflect. That was what was needed. That inner calm. That connection. To meditate on the healing nature of compassion. To spread that loving kindness, that forgiveness, that understanding into the world.
So following the healing practices she had learned, she paid full attention to all the shadows, the whimpers, the hurts, that she had shoved so rigidly away. No longer hidden. Now, with focussed attention, facing them, things were different. Clarity shone its torch, the notes rang sweet, and love enveloped her understanding. Breathing in, and the brightness of living, colours glowing, shimmered through her. Breathing out, and the knowledge of compassion, of a loving touch, flowed into the world. The darkness, now alight, with messages of silvered light. Recognition of the links, of the webbed connections, shared by all.
With every breath she could feel that energy, that healing compassion, that loving kindness, that brightness resounding, being brought forth and growing in the world. The power of belief, of untainted faith, she lived its heartbeat, she knew its resilience, breathed its purpose and exhaled its intent.
Gratitude
It was in this state of silence, of reverence and awe, that the glow of inner peace, of connection, took hold. Her spirit lighter, solace found, she felt joyous, her purpose renewed.
Smiling, she closed her eyes and reached out to the patient watcher who had quietly been observing her...
Smiling, I reached out, I took her hand, and with gratitude for the resolution we had found, I stepped into my blessed life again…
Being Jiwan…x
